It is amazing how things change as time goes by. By the time you wake up from your dream, abruptly, it has become unrecognisable. Slow, gradual, insidious, drastic change. Un-noticeable until too late.
Words dry up. New ones spring up in their place.
Possible to slow time but impossible to turn it back.
Am I thinking too much as usual?
And placing too little faith into the hearts of people exactly like what I was taught to do?
Perhaps I had changed instead.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
misunderstandings galore
The third week has not yet arrived, and I'm already feeling the heat. Things seem different from last year, not as easy, not as simple, not as relaxed. (Even though previously I had tons of tuition to give.)
Stressed. Pressurized. Squashed. Ripped into a thousand and one pieces. Tired. Very tired.
I think it is caused by an accumulation of many issues, big and small. Plus the fact that the Sun returns home earlier than I do every day. It's getting harder to joke and laugh, and getting easier to seep into melancholy and gloom. It's getting harder to ignore the issues, push them aside and sweep them in a corner. Furthermore, I can't stand not being in control of how I feel, and I'm not in control now.
Anyway...
Can't believe that heath ledger died. He is only in his twenties and had so much of his life ahead. How shocking. Perhaps he was quite affected in his role as the Joker till he couldn't take it. Actors (the really good ones) immerse themselves in their roles till the boundary between the actor and the role becomes blurred, and they become one and the same.
Stressed. Pressurized. Squashed. Ripped into a thousand and one pieces. Tired. Very tired.
I think it is caused by an accumulation of many issues, big and small. Plus the fact that the Sun returns home earlier than I do every day. It's getting harder to joke and laugh, and getting easier to seep into melancholy and gloom. It's getting harder to ignore the issues, push them aside and sweep them in a corner. Furthermore, I can't stand not being in control of how I feel, and I'm not in control now.
Anyway...
Can't believe that heath ledger died. He is only in his twenties and had so much of his life ahead. How shocking. Perhaps he was quite affected in his role as the Joker till he couldn't take it. Actors (the really good ones) immerse themselves in their roles till the boundary between the actor and the role becomes blurred, and they become one and the same.
Friday, January 11, 2008
most terrible week
1. outbidded for 2 modules
2. lost my driving book a day before another driving lesson. had to go back to ubi to get the pdl. waited for 2hours. stoning.
3. bahasa indo: from usual 1 point ---> above 300
4. outbidded for another 2 modules. dropped political science (looked gross) and picked up mass com. not crazy about it, but had no choice. (costs one point)
everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
lessons learnt
1. never trust bidding history.
2. gut instinct? what's that?
3. 100 points more after open bidding is not confirmed safe.
lessons i did not learn
1. life lessons
2. risk management
3. basically all lessons that cors crapped out.
@#$%
silver lining
1. i have school on wed only for next week: extended holiday
happy holidays!
i dont feel like going to school anyway.
so is this the trough the christians believe would occur in their life? the point where everything seems to uncontrollably break in to tiny little pieces? oh my gosh. what's next? FAILING my driving exam? hmm perhaps i shall CRASH into someone's car during the test so my bank account will be WIPED OUT? it's close to being wiped out because of all the stuff that i lost AND the fact i have parents who LOVE to deduct money. well, deducting money is a way of disciplining. what a wonderful technique. utterly brilliant.
go out with friends? no, stay at home!
don't go out with relatives? anti social!
parents. ha. add that to the top and you'll get a poisonous concoction.
ahh. God's plan: above all human beings, incomprehensible to most. and me.
2. lost my driving book a day before another driving lesson. had to go back to ubi to get the pdl. waited for 2hours. stoning.
3. bahasa indo: from usual 1 point ---> above 300
4. outbidded for another 2 modules. dropped political science (looked gross) and picked up mass com. not crazy about it, but had no choice. (costs one point)
everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
lessons learnt
1. never trust bidding history.
2. gut instinct? what's that?
3. 100 points more after open bidding is not confirmed safe.
lessons i did not learn
1. life lessons
2. risk management
3. basically all lessons that cors crapped out.
@#$%
silver lining
1. i have school on wed only for next week: extended holiday
happy holidays!
i dont feel like going to school anyway.
so is this the trough the christians believe would occur in their life? the point where everything seems to uncontrollably break in to tiny little pieces? oh my gosh. what's next? FAILING my driving exam? hmm perhaps i shall CRASH into someone's car during the test so my bank account will be WIPED OUT? it's close to being wiped out because of all the stuff that i lost AND the fact i have parents who LOVE to deduct money. well, deducting money is a way of disciplining. what a wonderful technique. utterly brilliant.
go out with friends? no, stay at home!
don't go out with relatives? anti social!
parents. ha. add that to the top and you'll get a poisonous concoction.
ahh. God's plan: above all human beings, incomprehensible to most. and me.
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