Exams are over and strangely, I feel empty now.

No, I don't want to go back to the exam period!
(The exams were horrible :'(((( depressingly bad. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(*army of sad faces*)

It's the feeling of- hey, what am I supposed to do now, now that there is no studying to do (technically). Perhaps I need to find a cca or something I like to do, in addition to all the studying. lab is fun at times, but that's lab. Yesterday almost the whole lab went for an oktober fest outing(:

My spiritual walk has been somewhat in the dumps. I can't find the value in going to church anymore.

This is how it feels like to me----

praise and worship - singing of songs and I can't seem to get emotionally involved into the songs and words. Yes the tunes are nice but the words don't hold much meaning to me. I just watch how people get involved into expressive worship and wonder...
Sermon - It's usually the same things, drilled again and again. The essentials I guess. Sometimes you agree with the message sometimes you don't. After awhile, the message sort of dies, and doubt sets in. I think I have been doubting a lot of things these days that it's hard to walk back.

Easy to fall out but hard to stay in.

On the side note, I helped out at GM Pri Girls Brigade yesterday. (I've never seen so many small tiny cute people in one room for very long time! The kids were really cute!) The structure of the programme was similar to guides, except that it was based on christian values. My gg company had somewhat of christian-y values due to my captain, who is a strong christian.

Anyway, helping them brought back good memories of my days in the kc gg family. (: Basically I was there to help them with their school work as they were going to have their exams soon. Actually, haha I realised that I like to teach. (No it's not because of jamie calling me a teacher all the time.)

I don't think I would like to teach in a school though. The classroom has too many students (~40?) and as a teacher, you would not make much of an impact on the students. Sure, you'll make an impact on a handful, but not all. I don't think very highly of teachers as well, this is probably due to my impression of teachers throughout my years in school. 40 people in a class, and you change your class every 2 years, how much of an impact will you make? In a secondary school, you'll probably only see your students during your own subject classes, and that's it.

hmm.

illusion never changed into something real