littlesthings

2008-10-12T13:48:00.002+08:00

Exams are over and strangely, I feel empty now.

No, I don't want to go back to the exam period!
(The exams were horrible :'(((( depressingly bad. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(*army of sad faces*)

It's the feeling of- hey, what am I supposed to do now, now that there is no studying to do (technically). Perhaps I need to find a cca or something I like to do, in addition to all the studying. lab is fun at times, but that's lab. Yesterday almost the whole lab went for an oktober fest outing(:

My spiritual walk has been somewhat in the dumps. I can't find the value in going to church anymore.

This is how it feels like to me----

praise and worship - singing of songs and I can't seem to get emotionally involved into the songs and words. Yes the tunes are nice but the words don't hold much meaning to me. I just watch how people get involved into expressive worship and wonder...
Sermon - It's usually the same things, drilled again and again. The essentials I guess. Sometimes you agree with the message sometimes you don't. After awhile, the message sort of dies, and doubt sets in. I think I have been doubting a lot of things these days that it's hard to walk back.

Easy to fall out but hard to stay in.

On the side note, I helped out at GM Pri Girls Brigade yesterday. (I've never seen so many small tiny cute people in one room for very long time! The kids were really cute!) The structure of the programme was similar to guides, except that it was based on christian values. My gg company had somewhat of christian-y values due to my captain, who is a strong christian.

Anyway, helping them brought back good memories of my days in the kc gg family. (: Basically I was there to help them with their school work as they were going to have their exams soon. Actually, haha I realised that I like to teach. (No it's not because of jamie calling me a teacher all the time.)

I don't think I would like to teach in a school though. The classroom has too many students (~40?) and as a teacher, you would not make much of an impact on the students. Sure, you'll make an impact on a handful, but not all. I don't think very highly of teachers as well, this is probably due to my impression of teachers throughout my years in school. 40 people in a class, and you change your class every 2 years, how much of an impact will you make? In a secondary school, you'll probably only see your students during your own subject classes, and that's it.

hmm.

2008-10-04T02:53:00.000+08:00

illusion never changed into something real

reminder

2008-09-12T21:37:00.004+08:00

i'm going to write a short note to remind myself.... of what i want in life.

i had been feeling rather lost lately- no aims, no goals, just tired from lab and school work. it's easy to get into the pace of things, go with the flow, and forget of what you truely want and hope for in life. i didnt have much time to sit back, relax, reflect on what i have been doing. right now, i'm sacrificing the time to study for my gen physio test. rargh. oh wells, i think i need to get my focus, whatever focus i had, back again. i feel that i had been neglecting a lot of things, my friends (sorry!!!:( i promise i'll catch up with you guys soon:S) and my daydreams.

As a child, i was the lost-in-my-own-world-dreamy sort of kid. my parents used to nag; stop dreaming, start studying and do the things you need to do. (parents can really think of many things to do.)

life science- is it the place i want to be? i'm in lab most of the time, working hard to get my results (my shRNA!!!! :(:(:(). I can do it, i can make it a career choice- but will i enjoy it? As i sink into lab life, i realise how comfortable it is to just go on, to continue to masters, to be a researcher.

BUT i doubt i'll feel satisfied with my life.

I was reading JK Rowling's speech at Harvard's commencement. (you can read it here.) She mentioned somewhere that she worked for amnesty international, and a strong emotion surged in me- Yes i want to work there as well. I always wanted to do this sort of things, but never had the strength to start. I don't want to work in a lab, I want to work in the physical front line of issues, not in a lab searching for a cure. yes, that's noble, but not me.

what do i do from here?
start small. look for something like amnesty to focus my attention on. read articles about issues.

it's so easy for me to lose my focus and get lost into the midst of things.

2008-04-29T23:55:00.002+08:00

my blog has been cold for - exactly one month. Well, it's mainly because I can't think of anything of importance to write on the blog. I don't like to write pointless things, and I can't think of anything of interest to write. And everytime I think of something interesting to write, by the time I reach online, I forget. -_-

anyway, 2 papers down and 2 more to go. there is something about this holiday that is different from the others. I don't feel as... excited? perhaps I've been anticipating the holidays far too long that it does not have that "yay! time to relax! i dont need travel 1.5 hrs to school!" vibe anymore. and perhaps... it's so packed with events till I don't have time to really really really slack. ie. wake up late, read, read, read, read, sleep, sleep, sleep. (basically, be an anti-social bookworm (o_o)~)~)~)~)~)~)~)~) That was what I basically did during my secondary school holidays, and boy, do I miss those days.

needs time out! :X

bohemian rhapsody

2008-03-30T21:59:00.014+08:00

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!

I went into the theatre with really low expectations. I mean, seriously, a rock-tribute musical? It sounded like some typical rock concert with filled with people-who-probably-cannot-sing-as-well-as-the-original-singers. If I really want to hear Queen's songs, I can just blast them on my CD player.

ohh boy... I was proved extremely wrong. (:

The singers' voices were all amazingly powerful and clear. All of them. And I loved the rock music. It was really refreshingly different from a typical musical, where they use mainly classical instruments.

Their script was pretty good too, however you need to know music history and pop culture relatively well to fully appreciate their jokes.

watch it!

I didn't know Queen originally sung Under Pressure!

Lyrics

Pressure pushing down on me

Pressing down on you no man ask for

Under pressure - that burns a building down

Splits a family in two

Puts people on streets

Um ba ba be

De day da

Ee day da - that's o.k.

It's the terror of knowing

What the world is about

Watching some good friends

Screaming 'Let me out'

Pray tomorrow - gets me higher

Pressure on people - people on streets

Day day de mm hm

Da da da ba ba

O.k.Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor

These are the days it never rains but it pours

Ee do ba be

Ee da ba ba ba

Um bo boBe lap

People on streets - ee da de da de

People on streets - ee da de da de da de da

It's the terror of knowing

What this world is about

Watching some good friends

Screaming 'Let me out'

Pray tomorrow - gets me higher high high

Pressure on people - people on streets

Turned away from it all like a blind man

Sat on a fence but it don't work

Keep coming up with love

but it's so slashed and torn

Why - why - why ?

Love love love love love

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

Can't we give ourselves one more chance

Why can't we give love that one more chance

Why can't we give love give love give love give love

give love give love give love give love give love

'Cause love's such an old fashioned word

And love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night

And loves dares you to change our way of

Caring about ourselves

This is our last dance

This is ourselves

Under pressure

Pressure

*ask me if you want the mp3(:

2008-03-29T23:57:00.007+08:00

Time to get a new pair of specs!

This pair was promised to be flexible, durable and lasting. Well, it had been a good 10 months. My friend suggested that should try army spectacles instead. But I heard it is not so lasting either. heh.

As usual, instead of studying, I was surfing the net and jumping from hyperlink to hyperlink.

and I chanced upon this!
http://www.who.int/whosis/mort/profiles/en/index.html#S
mortality profiles of ALL the countries~

I was comparing between singapore (classic first world), saudi arabia and sudan (super poor war torn african country). What surprised me was that the main cause of death for all three countries is Ischaemic heart disease, which I initially thought of as a first world disease. Surprisingly it is the first for Sudan as well, killing 8% of the total population. Saudi arabia, which I always thought of as a first world country, seems to be bogged by third world diseases such as perinatal conditions and diarrhoeal diseases. (severe diarrhoea, interestingly, can be "cured" by drinking a mixture of water, sugar and salt) It is fascinating what mortality statistics can tell you about a country. Saudi Arabia probably has a large rich-poor divide, with the rich suffering from diabetes mellitus (4% killed), and the poor dying from diarrhoea. Saudi arabia and sudan probably have poor road etiquette too (6% and 3% respectively), unlike singapore (death from road accidents not in top ten). and we are still super concerned about drink drivers and young (not teenage anymore ='( ) risk-loving drivers like yours truely. Looks like we should be more worried about dying from cancer. stomach cancer, colon cancer, lung cancer, liver cancer. Oh the good life we have, drinking smoking eating too much.

Sudan's mortality profile is particularly depressing.
Malaria, HIV/AIDS, Diarrhoeal diseases, Measles, Tuberculosis, War
All preventable and relatively easy, in terms of medication, to cure.

Another interesting note about the causes of death in children under five is that congenital anomalies, preterm birth and others is the highest amongst the first world countries, even higher than the average of the region. I am curious what others imply. Placing a child in a microwave perhaps? or death by flinging off a bridge...

I wonder whether the rate for congenital anomalies rise as a country becomes a first world, or did it remain the same?
i.e. you initally have 10 kamquats where 1 is always genetically rotten. Due to the environment, (damp weather, locusts, whatever) 6 of the 10 becomes rotten too. Therefore, genetics is the cause of rotten-ness in 1 out of 7 kamquats. Now the farmer buys a greenhouse to prevent the invasion of locusts, therefore only 2 kamquats out of 10 becomes rotten. 1 kamquat will always be rotten due to genetics, but now 50% of rotten-ness is caused by genetics instead of 14.3% previously.
So have the rate of congenital anomalies increase? well, technically it should as we are ingesting more cancerous food (according to researchers) and we are exposed to harmful mutagens. (like cigarette smoke@!)

anyway, the point is, gene therapy is the job of the future!

$_$

*needs to study harder*

This is how I waste my precious study time. I read other cool stuff just now but if I'm going to share them all, I would not be able to sleep tonight. >.<

awaiting the hols

2008-03-12T22:27:00.004+08:00

Okay, I can't believe I just blogged such an emo-istic and stilted post this morning, it must be due to the unearthly time it was written. So there people, i'm fine. (: It is just một của tôi (one of my) mood swings!

On a cheerier note, I have confirmed my holiday plans for may june july! (: yipee. In May I'm going to look for a job, like waitressing! Ideally I would love to be an usher in the esplanade - free shows, great pay - but it is hard to find an opening. It is like The Dream Job. I can watch what I like, for free, and get paid as well! Now, that is a Fantastic bargain. Furthermore the great pay will add to my europe trip fund, which is hungry and starving due to the lack of funds (Any kind souls want to donate to my europe fund? Any amount would be greatly appreciated!!!=) Well, I managed to squeeze in a family trip to Shanghai during the first week of June. hoho. I cannot wait for the budget shopping, eating and dvd buying. Oh, and of course trying to speak to the people in chinese is fun. It is interesting to hear their suggestions as to where I am from, and so far I've got hong kong, hainan and not surprisingly singapore. They even narrowed down to the province! amazing huh. After the shanghai trip there will be the science orientation camp, which will occupy week 2 and 4 of june, and after that Hello to Europe! Okay, this would be my motivation to mug hard so that I can play hard during the hols.

chúc bạn vui vẻ!

PS: diễm có buồn không?

2008-03-12T04:00:00.010+08:00

I'm like a waiter walking on a tightrope, balancing 2 dishes. I have to drop one, if not I will surely drop both and fall together with them. One dish is for a table with many people, some VIPs. The other is just for... selfish me. If I drop the dish-for-many-people, I will definitely get fired. My life would suffer a (major?) setback.

If the dish for selfish me is shattered, who would care? Perhaps the dish for many people would be a better option then.

Is this a test? If it is, I think I’m failing badly. (Like that Vietnamese test)=)

I need to focus on my studies, and my coming test, but I can’t concentrate. And I can’t sleep. (Perhaps it is due to my 10 hours marathon the previous night)

Am I thinking too much as usual, making things seem so complicated when it is actually so simple?

Am I complicating issues with every step I make?

It is so much easier to talk about what you believe in than to show it through actions. I truely want to act in accordance to my freaking value system but sometimes I slip, badly. And now, I just want to delete, cancel and trash it.

love it when it rains. love it when it rains at night.

wonderful colours~

The pink flower is like imperfectly beautiful. Is there such a thing in society's eyes? I feel a sense of loss, sadness and wonder whenever I see it. Perhaps on its own it is imperfect, but together with something it regains its orginal beauty. Or maybe it is even better this way.

psalm 37

2008-02-21T18:11:00.003+08:00

Psalm 37

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Lately, I've been doing QT regularly and even enjoying it. (Hopefully I'm past my sleeping-on-God stage? At least now I try to say amen before I concuss.)
Well, it's partly because there are certain issues in your life that you realise you can't control, and God is the ONLY one who is able to take the wheel. Lifting it all up to Him is extremely difficult. You really do want to commit and trust, yet there is this inner voice in you that nags, cajoles and insinuates.

feelings of inadequacy..
what ifs
i could have done this better
regrets
doubts

and then, you start worrying and worrying again.
Anyway, as long as you don't give up trying to trust and commit, I guess all hope is not lost.

As I was looking through the psalms chapter in my bible, I can sort of tell which are my really dry days, distant from God. Since the one psalm per day started this year, I haven't really been fully committing to it until psalm 37, which was like the start of the chinese new year (cny resolution!). Hence, all those highlighting started from psalm 37. I did start before, hmm, but I think it was rather sporadic. The beginning was particularily bad though. Blank all the way. (: And tuesdays and wednesdays psalms are pretty blank too. haha.

Chinese New Year have finally ended! Today is the last day of cny, and the last day I can eat loh hay :( haha. It's full of nice veggies and crunchy crackers, and the raw salmon is yummy too! I'll miss it. Well, cny is the last and only time I can fully relax and totally drop all my responsibilities before the exams draw near. rargh.

I'll never forget this chinese new year(:

I'm going into hibernation people! My books miss moi~ and I think they miss you too!

chào các bạn!

2008-02-12T22:00:00.001+08:00

RESEARCH PAPERS ARE NOT WRITTEN IN ENGLISH :(

2008-02-04T09:28:00.000+08:00

Changi Beach walk

A half dead polychaeta, a segmented worm with numerous parapodia (legs) which are poisonous. (don't let it crawl on you! but you may pet it.:P)

It looks like cooked meat, a really enormous piece of cooked meat. My friend estimated it to be about 4kg. I wonder how did it get here? (some people must be going hungry) Fascinatingly gross. It was bobbing on the waves.

NO! it's not roti prata! it's pancakes.

Are you sure what you are eating is what you think it is?

AND Finalllllly.....

The Dark side of N.U.S. sci.....
awful architecture.
awful food.

2008-01-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

It is amazing how things change as time goes by. By the time you wake up from your dream, abruptly, it has become unrecognisable. Slow, gradual, insidious, drastic change. Un-noticeable until too late.

Words dry up. New ones spring up in their place.

Possible to slow time but impossible to turn it back.

Am I thinking too much as usual?

And placing too little faith into the hearts of people exactly like what I was taught to do?

Perhaps I had changed instead.

misunderstandings galore

2008-01-24T21:25:00.000+08:00

The third week has not yet arrived, and I'm already feeling the heat. Things seem different from last year, not as easy, not as simple, not as relaxed. (Even though previously I had tons of tuition to give.)

Stressed. Pressurized. Squashed. Ripped into a thousand and one pieces. Tired. Very tired.

I think it is caused by an accumulation of many issues, big and small. Plus the fact that the Sun returns home earlier than I do every day. It's getting harder to joke and laugh, and getting easier to seep into melancholy and gloom. It's getting harder to ignore the issues, push them aside and sweep them in a corner. Furthermore, I can't stand not being in control of how I feel, and I'm not in control now.

Anyway...

Can't believe that heath ledger died. He is only in his twenties and had so much of his life ahead. How shocking. Perhaps he was quite affected in his role as the Joker till he couldn't take it. Actors (the really good ones) immerse themselves in their roles till the boundary between the actor and the role becomes blurred, and they become one and the same.

most terrible week

2008-01-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

1. outbidded for 2 modules
2. lost my driving book a day before another driving lesson. had to go back to ubi to get the pdl. waited for 2hours. stoning.
3. bahasa indo: from usual 1 point ---> above 300
4. outbidded for another 2 modules. dropped political science (looked gross) and picked up mass com. not crazy about it, but had no choice. (costs one point)

everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

lessons learnt
1. never trust bidding history.
2. gut instinct? what's that?
3. 100 points more after open bidding is not confirmed safe.

lessons i did not learn
1. life lessons
2. risk management
3. basically all lessons that cors crapped out.

@#$%

silver lining
1. i have school on wed only for next week: extended holiday

happy holidays!

i dont feel like going to school anyway.

so is this the trough the christians believe would occur in their life? the point where everything seems to uncontrollably break in to tiny little pieces? oh my gosh. what's next? FAILING my driving exam? hmm perhaps i shall CRASH into someone's car during the test so my bank account will be WIPED OUT? it's close to being wiped out because of all the stuff that i lost AND the fact i have parents who LOVE to deduct money. well, deducting money is a way of disciplining. what a wonderful technique. utterly brilliant.

go out with friends? no, stay at home!

don't go out with relatives? anti social!

parents. ha. add that to the top and you'll get a poisonous concoction.

ahh. God's plan: above all human beings, incomprehensible to most. and me.

hk

2007-12-19T01:39:00.000+08:00

Finally I'm back from HK. HK is similar to S'pore in some ways; the pulse, overall attitude of the people. There is this endless rush - people hurrying from one place to another, pushing and squeezing. The train, called mtr there, is not unlike s'pore in the sense that people rush to get in without caring about the people who struggle to get out.

I love the night flights. As the plane is landing, one can see the bright lights of the city in various shapes, sizes and colours. However, no matter how pretty the night view of s'pore is, as always, I feel a sense of dread and repulsion whenever I return home. I wonder whether many people feel this way as well. When I'm overseas, I want to be there longer. Yes, I do miss my friends, but I'd rather stay in and explore some far away land. Anyway, it is not like I cannot contact my friends. (email- cheap and fast!)

Is it because I study and live here? If I lived and studied in, lets say, HK, would I feel the same way towards HK as I do towards S'pore now?

disjointed thoughts

2007-12-03T18:26:00.000+08:00

Last year: I was sitting on the pavement along the open field, staring straight ahead, lost in my own little world. The sky was totally blue and cloudless, a sight seldom seen. A jogger ran by and smiled at me. I smiled back. Even though we didn't say a word, a lot was said through this exchange of smiles.

I know what you are thinking, I'm thinking it too.

Today as I was going to cross the road, green man flashing, a red taxi drove into my path and stopped. I strolled past it, walking excruciatingly slowly.

I wonder whether Impressionists, especially the first Impressionist (Monet), were short sighted. When I take off my spectacles, it seems that the world turns into an Impressionist painting; undefined smudges of colours all around.

I realised how factory-like science fac's architecture is. Full of pipes, chimney like structures. It seems to be a representative of what Singapore (and NUS) truly is; churning out brainwashed, uniform, similar things. NUS is doing Singapore proud indeed.

*************************************************************************************

Yesterday

me: Hey, I'm at the police station.
m: WHAT??!! What are you doing there?!
me: Ha ha. It's not what you think. Do I sound like I'm in trouble?
m: Then why are you there?!
me: Oh I lost my wallet, do I need to make a police report?
m: What?! You lost your wallet?

Later

m: You always don't wash your feet and bathe immediately after you come home. And you always lie and sleep on the floor. So dirty! Imagine all the dirt you bring home, all the bad aura.

Later

m: b said you should carry the four leaf clover.

study-land

2007-11-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

Today, like yesterday, was terrible; hardly any progress at all.

TWO wasted days! I read the first chapter of Sandman, blog-surfed, facebook-whored and before I knew it, it was time to meet Jane to go Vivo! - for the shortest shopping trip ever. hee.

I must really change my attitude. I want to do honours in life science. I MUST get into honours. NUS has quite interesting modules for LSM4xxx, namely marine biology and some animal behaviour one. Life science is quite competitive and everyone around is working so hard. I bet it'll be really hard to do well. A cap of 3.5 (4.0 would be a bonus!), is that too much to ask for?

Time to hit on remote sensing. heck. I have not printed the notes yet - how screwed can I get.

Stats- I dislike you so so much, but I can't afford to ignore you any longer. Why can't you be interesting and understandable?! AND I must meet you again in level2. Why why why!!! Why must you be in life science?!

2007-11-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

Ooooo... my brother just cooked, for the first time, garlic rice, fried eggs and some random vegetable dish. It's actually edible (and smells good too)! Too bad I don't have a camera so that I can take a shot of the boy's very first attempt. Can't wait to change my phone to the sony ericsson's cybershot.

For fun:) found this on my friend's blog

200 things I've done (in bold) at least once the past 19 years:
200 things i wish i could do (in italics) at least once in my life:

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the great pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the northern lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of leaning tower of pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars (loved it)
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up the night sky through a telescope (saw Jupiter!!- and its moons)
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment.
28. Had a food fight (facebook?)
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow (the fake one at the kid's zoo?)
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have (not sure whether it is considered love.)
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark (shark’s fin?)
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship (totally boring)
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a cheque
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ... more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a seizure
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money from on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph (till i get my license... hehehe)
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild (Dangerous! Any Biodiversity student should know this.)
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet (eeks!)
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166.Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes (sounds interesting..)
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ... and gotten 86’ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184.Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language (Chinese! )
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream (once but not now)
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair
197. Been a DJ
198. Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199. Written your own role playing game
200. Been arrested

OKKK time to hit on RSGO! :)

verbal vomit

2007-11-27T06:14:00.001+08:00

I can't stand how this place is being run. Most of the times I hide it, placing a font of apathy and ignorance. But it is hard to keep simmering inside; it leads to random bursts of anger and snappishness that one regrets in the end.

Can't wait to leave and fly free.

I realise that I cannot study last minute, my mind will drift, to the trees, the clouds, and random thoughts round me. Like yesterday, for example, after I woke up from my 2 hours long nap, the clouds started turning dark grey and gloomy. There was frequent lightning and thunder, and the wind started howling strongly. I started to stare (instead of my textbook) at the leaves that were shivering in anticipation for the rain to fall, the beautiful orange red ladies in the air dancing in a strange yet familiar choreography and soon, the silver threads thrown from the woolly sky. Falling, falling, falling. Such a hypnotic sight and comforting feeling, being blanketed by the cool, rushing wind and watching nature's spectacular performance. I can sit there for eons just watching, admiring...

How hard it is, at this present age, to be able to sit still and admire time as it goes by. This reminds me of this interesting song I heard not long ago. It is sang by Sandi Thom and it is called "I wish I was a punk rocker"(with flowers in my hair).

[Chorus:]
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In '77 and '69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

When the head of state didn't play guitar
Not everybody drove a car
When music really mattered and when radio was king
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything

[Chorus]

When pop stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
My mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail

[Chorus]

When record shops were still on top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs
And playing games meant kick arounds
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face

[Chorus]

I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

-end-

hmm. Yesteryears image was a punk rocker. I wonder what defines our generation now, it seems to me like our generation is a mishmash of images copied from almost every age known to mankind. No true identity, just like a patchwork. Versatile.

organic chemistry

2007-11-26T21:58:00.000+08:00

Oh how I love doing organic chemistry (AT TIMES); the mechanisms, flow of electrons seems oh-so logical, the molecules like puzzles waiting to be broken. It seems like I am totally suited for science; I enjoy the warm comfort of the logic and systematic workings, the fuzzy happiness when I get the correct answer. Such a black-and-white subject in a grey world. I just dislike memorising the stuff to use. There are so many other modules I would like to attempt but I'm restricted by the system. One thing for sure, I'm going to take the animal module in the future. I may want to be a forest ranger in the future, traveling around the world observing animals. Hee. The thought is exciting indeed :). I shall decide whether to change to psychology next year, but currently I feel quite happy doing biology. So many roads that i can't decide. Can someone tell me the way? Or perhaps it is more fun to poke and probe around - I can learn new things too. I feel like reading Darwin's species of origin after taking the biodiversity, the theory of evolution seems a bit dodgy. That shall be the second book to read after The Screwtape letters. OH and Sandman!

11 more days

2007-11-16T23:52:00.000+08:00

oh my. What am I doing online? heh. I remember my JC teacher telling me that uni would be a breeze after experiencing JC life, but I don't think so. Perhaps I'm not working hard enough and people want their grades more than I do, hence I'm not getting my "ideal" marks. Well, in that case I have to study really hard these next few days to catch up. By the way, uni libraries are fantastic for studying.
I love the feeling in the library, there are so so many books! I get high when I think of the amount of knowledge they represent; I would love to read every single one of them and pore through each individual section. (totally geek sign hehe) There are books on any subject you can think of, from the obscure and weird to the popular/typical kinds. The only section that seems to be missing from the library is the fiction section, but I'm not complaining. The national library (or borders/ kino ) is sufficient for that.
So far I have paid $1.50 in library fines due to overdue books. argh. That's my only gripe about libraries - I'm always late in returning the books. Speaking of which, I still owe NBL about $10. heh.
Anyway, there is this really fantastic up and coming musical that just rose from Broadway called Spring Awakening.
What can you guess about the story from the title? I shall leave it to you to figure out. :) The music in this musical is not what you typically find from most musicals, it consists of mainly string instruments and a band (drums+guitar). The strings gives the entire musical a very different feel from the others. It plays a very important role and emphasizes *Spring*. The youthfulness, freshness, and at times melancholy, angsty, romantic, reflective and always very lyrical. I love the sound of the violin and cello. I'm not very good with words so I can't really describe it. Listen to the music and you'll get the point! What a talented composer.

first words

2007-11-11T02:55:00.000+08:00

Why did i decide to start a blog? Again. If my memory does not fail me, this should be the third or fourth attempt on my part to start a blog.
Does this reflect my inability to focus on something for long?
Or my discomfort in expressing myself?
Maybe it is both...
Cheers then, to the longevity of this blog! I hope i will maintain this blog as long as i can.
Write, share, reflect. That's basically my aim of writing in a blog.